Sophistication

A quiet moment

2012-02-13T14:24:00.000-08:00

The teeter-totter of illness has slammed me back to the ground (I was flying high last week with lovely running, yoga, and thesis conquering), which has, on the bright side, provided me with a moment of writing and reflection. Since moving into our new (and first) home, I find that I am continually surprising myself. For example, I am neglecting my homework at the moment because in reality, I am weeks ahead. I am embarrassed to admit I am that student; that student who only has a few hundred pages of reading left for the entire semester, a handful of tests to take, and a couple of pages to write.
Where did I come from???
I am also discovering habits of home living I didn't completely realize were my own. For one, I cannot abide a dirty kitchen sink. Dishes are done no longer than 24 hours after they have been set in the sink. And I wipe down the sink when I am done washing dishes... Yikes. I also wipe down the stove when I'm done using it.
For another, Jeremy and I have decided to plan our meals out 2 weeks at a time. We diligently try new recipes and foods including brussel sprouts, asparagus (which I apparently LOVE), and spinach. We're finding we like quite a lot of things as long as they are made well. I have also discovered that I am one of those crazy ladies who freezes food for later meals. Yes, I have frozen turkey noodle soup and curry for some later date when Jeremy and I both feel like being lazy.
What the?!?!
Another habit I am quite fond of (as opposed to being slightly horrified by it), is our habit of cooking. I suppose I can blame my parents for this one, but I didn't realize I had engrained in me so deeply. Jem and I cook together every night. I love weekends because they involved two whole days of cooking time together. We turn on music (jazz has been my favorite of late), chat about everything, and take turns being Executive Chef and Sous Chef. It is a special family activity for us. I knew cooking and food was a social activity for me, but I didn't realize how familial cooking is for my own little family. Having our own kitchen has made this even more apparent.
Our home environment is coming together. I am surprised to find that I am a much more exact person than I ever perceived myself as being, but I am also excited to see the habits Jeremy and I have that make our home our home.
The style of apartment we chose is only a sliver of who we are in material form. The bookcases everywhere display books, pictures, and art that we love. The books alone exemplify our interests. We are written on all of the walls and in the furniture. Our kitchen and fridge are a testament to the food we love, vegetables and all. We have little bits and pieces exhibited of the people who influenced us greatly. And everything was done or picked in conjunction. As a family.
We play games more frequently in our living room. We spend time sitting and talking on our couch, or at our dinner table. I think we feel more like a family now. And I am quite pleased with the home we have put together. Even if I remain a maniacal cleaner...

BAM

2012-02-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

Take THAT first draft of my thesis. You bin DUN!

...

I'm just not thinking about editing you yet....

Georgia is on my mind

2012-02-03T13:18:00.001-08:00

Home

2012-02-02T10:31:00.000-08:00

I have quite a lot of things to be grateful for at the moment. I really am amazed at how so many things are falling, one by one, into place. I revel in the fact that I could NEVER have arranged my life the way it has played out. Sometimes taking a step into the dark works out.

Anyhow, one of the things I am most grateful for right now (among some pretty wonderful things, mind you) is my new home. Jeremy and I are so so so happy to have a home of our own. We had a lovely time living with roommates (Gram, Granddad, Paige, Caroline, and yes, even Jake), but it was time for something we could call our own. And we are more excited than we ever anticipated.

We can hang whatever we want.

We have our own kitchen!

We are thrilled to have this place, with all of its quirks. We even love the dumpy heater that doesn't warm up the bathroom and bedroom very well. We are still unpacking, arranging, organizing, and throwing out, but it's ours. I am grateful for the opportunity to establish a home of my own. Jeremy and I are trying really hard to make it a happy, safe place for ourselves and our friends.

I married a poet...

2012-01-27T12:58:00.001-08:00

Jem wrote a poem the other day. I think it was to entertain my fidgety brothers in church... Anyhow, I thought I would share it as I found it.

Mushrooms

They live in the forest, and even the poorest
of people can eat. This wonderful meat
is actually a fungus that was dumped upon us
by the alien hordes to kill our lords.

Their mission has failed, we eat them with snails.
We know which can kill and which can fill
our bellies with joy. Thus we annoy
the plans of these alien beasts to kill us with delicious treats.

My new best friend:

2012-01-11T11:37:00.001-08:00

The library.
We spend on average six hours a day together. We are quite close. In fact, the library was a huge help in sorting through my thesis dilemma. (As were were some professors who weren't hoarding their ideas or artifacts...)
Anyhow, the library and I are such good pals, he left a book on the Middle East sitting on my table for me to flip through when I arrived at 7:30 this morning. So thoughtful. The library also aids me as I am preparing to write a 20+ page thesis, two minor papers, and do lots of reading for my classes. He really is helpful when it comes to my reading. So helpful that I am two months ahead in reading for one of my classes, a month ahead in two other classes, and two weeks ahead in another class. Wow. Not to mention he is quite good at dispelling awkward flirtatious conversationalists when I need to be focusing on various archaeological histories. I sincerely hope the relationship the library and I are building flourishes over the course of this semester.

Thesis Fanangle

2012-01-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

I am currently freaking out about the topic of my thesis.

I no longer have access to this cool stuff:

So I may be resigned to this boring stuff:

Not that I have anything against the Fremont. Or against obsidian. I'm just bored with them. And I had no original interest in them...

Let's hope (and pray) that my professor will let me study neverbeenanalyzed infant burials.

It sounds extremely morbid to have an interest in infant burials, but hey, I'm an archaeologist!

I'd rather write 10000 words about infant burials from Jordan and Egypt than 35 pieces of obsidian.

2012?

2012-01-03T08:03:00.000-08:00

I thought 2012 would never come. I also thought tomorrow would never come either...

Tomorrow is my last first day of school as an undergraduate = I'm almost done with my undergraduate degree! Which is weird because it means I'm at/arriving at an entirely new stage of life. I suppose it would be succinct to say that I'm at another stage of life that requires making ~~huge~~ HUGE life decisions. Again.

And then I wonder if I was ever really this big?

I for sure didn't know what was coming then.

Merci

2011-12-28T09:08:00.000-08:00

My dear sister sent the cookbook of all cookbooks.

Fortunately she has one to match so we can cook lots together when she visits in February.

We love you Maude!

(I especially do)

One Year

2011-12-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

I am amazed how quickly time passes. I am also amazed at how happy Jeremy has made me.

Who knew the first year of marriage could be so good? People tell me it's gets even better?!? Woah...

Jeremy has made me all the more grateful for many things. He has helped me learn patience in the face of not knowing. He has become an integral part of my family (in my opinion). He makes me laugh.

He loves me. And I love him.

I also am thankful for everyone who made our wedding so lovely.

I have come to the understanding that all the people who put so much work into making our wedding work without a hitch are the same people who have made our marriage possible.

We have innumerable people, family and friends, married and unmarried, who are examples of how to maintain a good marriage.

So thanks to everyone for a wonderful year!

And here's to the man who is perfect for me.

YUM

2011-12-15T13:15:00.000-08:00

Today I made roz bilabn. And it is DELICIOUS. Probably because I've been starved for it since I was in Egypt... Roz bilabn is essentially rice pudding. My mom mocked me for not liking rice pudding and loving the Arab version of rice pudding; however, I continue to feel justified in my passionate love for roz bilabn and my vehement dislike for rice pudding. Why? Because roz bilabn is compose of three ingredients. THREE: milk, rice, sugar. No eggs, or raisins, or butter, or weird complicated stuff; although you can add vanilla if you would like to make it an even four ingredients. Still, three simple ingredients that are scrumdiddlyumptious. In addition, I am going to make it again when my mom is home so that she can understand what makes roz bilabn so utterly divine. Maybe I should just make it for the entire western world as an introduction to the goodness of Arab cuisine?

Two Things

2011-12-07T16:29:00.001-08:00

1 - I want a baby as adorable as this one in the very distant future.

2 - I want to chop all of my hair off. It's driving me crazy.

Oh, and no more class.

Until January...

*This is not meant to make people homesick

2011-12-04T19:28:00.001-08:00

Jem and I had a talk about whether or not to decorate for Christmas this year. We wanted to be festive, but we didn't want to leave a huge Christmas mess for my family to clean up... So we decided on the easiest decorations we could put up, though Jem did go to the effort of fixing and setting up the Bells of Mary (if you don't understand, drive by some night and just listen to our porch). Otherwise, easy generally involved things like my mom's fake tree! (cue Radiohead...)

And I made a paper chain. I didn't have red paper, but the green works, right? I also used my mom's stash of origami we had made in previous years. I hope it doesn't bother her that I put holes in them and strung them up...

I should refresh my origami skills.

I love decorating with Jem, especially when he fogs up the camera.

I don't love doing homework. I have been doing WAY TOO MUCH.

So much that I refuse to shower regularly...

I will be happy when my internship is done.

*I really don't mean to make my family homesick.

Quick Vent

2011-11-29T07:46:00.001-08:00

I just need to let something out.

That something is this: the Jerusalem Center is NOT the Middle East.

And I'm getting really tired of people thinking it is and looking at me like I'm crazy for living in Egypt. Don't get me wrong, the Jerusalem Center is stunning and I would love to live in Jerusalem because it is packed full of incredible history that is sacred to the three major religions of the world;

HOWEVER, the Jerusalem Center is most definitely NOT THE MIDDLE EAST.

Okay, venting done.

مصر ام الدنيا

2011-11-28T13:15:00.001-08:00

Egypt is the mother of us all... And I'm so excited for her!
Really I am guys.
They're holding elections. Their own democratic elections in spite of everything.
Check it out.

And for all those unbelievers, no violence occurred.

If you would rather just look at pictures, take a gander.

I'm wishing I were there just to see this...

Getaway

2011-11-15T07:29:00.001-08:00

Jeremy and I disappeared for the weekend. We took a road trip. I forgot all of my responsibilities for two days and a night.

We walked "the strip" in Vegas because neither of us had done so. Neither of us will likely do it again. We loved the Mandalay Bay Aquarium and Shark Reef though. Also, we're both really bad about taking pictures of us/each other. We're too excited about everything else!

Like the komodo dragon!

Or jellyfish.

Or sharks.

We have decided to one day swim with sharks. I would prefer it to occur in a reef, but swimming with sharks is definitely on the docket.

We have one photo of either of us during the entire trip. I'm touching a horseshoe crab!

And I look blonde?

[sidenote: I hate spelling the word blonde without an 'e'. I don't know why, maybe the word just looks naked without it.]

And, I got to explore the Bodies Exhibition while Jeremy took a four hour exam.

It was amazing.

Now I'm having a hard time getting back into the reality of life.

Research all day on Thursday and Friday?

Taking a test on Monday?

Analyzing date over Thanksgiving break?

Writing two papers in time for the week after Thanksgiving?

No bueno.

But, the semester is almost over. And so is my career as an undergraduate student!

The end draws near

2011-11-10T13:07:00.001-08:00

So it's almost down to the final push of this semester.
I'm pretty sure I'll make it out alive.
In fact, I'm almost positive I will.
Some happy things:

a good movie

Moral of the story: Red heads can belt it. Oh, and being upside down helps release tension.

If I dye my hair red again can I magically sing too?...

Long Break

2011-11-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

I have been drowning in school work recently, but it's okay. I am happy (mostly). I surface every once in awhile when I decide to ignore the list of to-do's or when I manage to get a caught up for a few hours. I'm not exactly caught up right now, but I'm also trying to avoid everything I didn't get done this weekend in the hopes that the large amount of what I did accomplish last week will make up for it. Make sense?

I am almost done with this semester. The final projects include: obsidian research/write paper/present, Biblical Archaeology paper on Israelite burial customs (a comparison of archaeological evidence with Old Testament references), putting together an e-book for Academy for Creating Enterprise (hopefully we do them more justice with the e-book than their website does), pass American Heritage (only two more exams!), and slide through my last religion credit easily. I can do it.

Also, I miss being away from Provo. Provo has been great for what I needed it to be, but it's about time to move on. When we'll move on, I'm not sure... But we have plans ;) I'm ready for adventuring again.

Caroline's Birthday Bash

2011-10-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

Paige already posted some of her photos, but I found a few I think I should add. Because it was a day full of adventures!

Paige causes lots of trouble.

Caroline and Annie slept most of the driving time.

The band shot on the tracks at Promontory Point.

Jeremy found a lock...

The water at the Spiral Jetty was unusually pink. According to wiki the water is pink "due to the presence of salt-tolerant bacteria and algae that thrive in the extreme 27 percent salinity of the lake's north arm."

Our happy family.

We found this ball at the other jetty we visited. Interestingly enough, Caroline and Jeremy both didn't see the alien painted on it until I showed them this picture. I don't know how they missed it..

The second jetty we visited.

And Paige scared a momma cow and her calf.

What grand adventures we had in the north of Utah!

For the family that misses their dogs

2011-10-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

I filmed (in not so great quality) some of our walk with the dogs one evening. It isn't perfect, but I hope my family still appreciates seeing some footage of their lively and lovely pets. Mae and Gunther are crazies, but we love them. Enjoy Fami-Lees!

2011-10-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I was in Paris.
I don't think anyone outside of my family quite understands what Paris means to us; to me. It's too painful to explain, especially when I don't know how soon I will be able to return.
I walked out of the metro into a small park with jungle gyms meant for the littler ones.
I sat on a bench and cried. It was relieving to be there. I knew I was going to meet up with Jeremy and the rest of my family soon.
All of my frustrations and worries melted away as I sat in the stillness of the perfectly French-manicured park with green everywhere and children climbing all over their metal contraptions, giving directions in French.
I forgot about my mound of homework, the frustrations I have had lately with my peers or fellow worshipers, and the responsibilities of caring for a large house.
I felt an absolute stillness.
When I woke up I was calm, though I wished I truly were in Paris.
I hope that dream influences this day to be a peaceful one.
I can't see why it wouldn't.

Early Morning

2011-09-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 6 this morning to find myself alone in bed.

I wandered around the basement to see where Jem had slipped off to.

It seems he had slipped to sleep on the couch.

He had a stock pot of water and a rag next to him. As I walked into the room he asked "who's there?"

I tried waking him up, but before I could sit down he said "Hi I'm Jeremy Spencer. You are?"

Once I sat down on the couch he realized who I was because he had gained a more wakeful state. He couldn't communicate much because apparently he had been up until 4 a.m. unable to sleep. He was rubbing my thigh with his injured hand so I assumed it wasn't causing him any pain. I think the swelling and redness has gone down, but it was dark so I couldn't exactly examine his arm closely.

I let him fall back asleep, but I was wide awake at that point.

Now I'm avoiding my next assignment because I have already done research for a Biblical Archaeology presentation, research for my American Heritage essay, written two revisions of said essay, written another essay for my internship, eaten breakfast, and visited with the dogs.

I considered taking them for a walk, but I don't know if I'll make it to the field alive alone with them... Ultimately I'm shying away from my big task for the day:

writing in Arabic calligraphy.

Yeah.

I just couldn't say no when a guy said I was the I only person he knew who had studied Arabic and his friend needs help on some exhibit being put together for the Museum of Art.

So what have I been nervously (and also kind of excitedly) studying/reviewing?

I have always been fascinated by the calligraphic styles of Arabic script, but I have absolutely no training in it despite my self-propelled practices. I'm hoping nobody is too judgmental of my untrained eye. I don't think the guy who asked for help realized what he was getting himself into. Emailing him has revealed that he doesn't know there are various calligraphic styles, each style calling for a particular writing utensil (a qalam/pen or a brush), and some have specific measurement requirements. How precise does he want this? And does he want various styles, or just one?

I'm supposed to be writing out 96 of the 99 total names of Allah.

Does he realize calligraphic training is not included in learning how to speak/read/write Arabic, even for most Arabs today? Not to mention the fact that it's technically traditionally Islamic calligraphy, not Arabic calligraphy...

I am too much of a perfectionist generally speaking.

A "grape" day...

2011-09-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Today was a long day. And by long I mean campus has become my home for at least seven hours on Mondays and Wednesdays. Lame. I was surprised to find my husband juicing grapes and canning the juice by himself. We have quite a lot of grapes. I should take pictures of delicious juice they produce. The downside of the juicing experience for Jeremy was when he dropped a bottle of hot grape juice. His left arm was burned and he got a few cuts. Paige helped with the clean up. We got some juice on a chair (sorry Mom...), but the Resolve cleaned it up nicely. Paige thinks it actually took out stains that needed to be removed before the juice was spilled all over it... I hope that's true. I think Jeremy's arm is going to be okay. I was stressed, to be sure, but he's nursing it and it should heal. At least we got some nice pink juice out of the grapes today.

A sore but happy life

2011-09-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

My body aches. My arms hurt when I lift my backpack. My shins and thighs throb when I walk up the stairs. But I feel lovely. My brain wakes up promptly at 7 a.m. I roll out of bed, check on the dogs, eat breakfast, get Jeremy out of bed, and then Jeremy lets me go on a run with him or I do yoga in the quiet of the house. Paige is awesome and gives me rides to school on her motorcycle regularly. Caroline, Paige, Jeremy and I all take turns making dinner, cleaning the kitchen, and walking the dogs. Life has truly started to take a brisk pace for all of us. My research and internship is picking up. Jeremy is avidly reading about remodeling sailboats (many thanks to Caroline). I'm glad we're keeping busy. It's nice to lose ourselves in the day to day activities of homework, school, dogs... I don't want to think about what's going to happen a month from today, three months, a year. Today is what I need to remember. And what I need to be grateful for. I have a body for which I can be grateful, a good home, wonderful family and friends, delicious food, and an education I'm pursuing. What a wonderful life I am blessed to live.

The Adult Life

2011-09-05T07:15:00.000-07:00

Since moving into my parents' house I haven't been sleeping as well as I usually do. I finally realized why. When I go to sleep at night I am thinking not only about studying, reading, and writing, but I am consumed with thoughts of weeding, watering, sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, baking, and walking the dogs. I don't even have kids and my ability to sleep is slowly fading away... Not to mention sleeping in is no longer an option because a) my body is on a strict schedule of waking up at 7:30 a.m. and b) the dogs don't let anyone sleep past 8 a.m.

The benefits of living in my parents house are numerous, but my favorite at the moment is all of the produce we are furiously trying to use up. Also all the meat and honey Paige brought to us. It sounds like we're living in the Promised Land! But really, we have made everything delicious in the past week:
roasted tomatoes
pasta with a red sauce
honey roasted pork loin
delicious steak with sweet potatoes (Paige makes a mean steak)
peach pies
honey butter
berry ice cream
pesto
paninis
peaches with ice cream
and lots more I can't even recall...

Now I get to go weed.

Moving

2011-08-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

Moving is NOT my favorite thing to do. I'm too orderly to do it in such a rush like we did this week. But we did it and we're almost completely unpacked. And Paige and Caroline are moved in with us!!! That is good. The house is slowly coming together. Thursday morning was spent helping the fam finish packing before they left. Thursday afternoon was spent doing our packing and moving .7 miles. Thursday evening we did some laundry while watching a movie and slept on the floor because we were too lazy to unpack and set up a bed. Friday was a day full of work. I scrubbed every bathroom and prepped one of the bathrooms for painting. Jeremy folded lots of laundry and has been cooking all our meals since Thursday. He's such a wonderful housewife... Saturday was weeding/harvesting day. So. much. food. And weeds. I got an internship Saturday, which will begin a week from Tuesday. Paige arrived Saturday night. Caroline this morning. We helped them move their stuff in and now we're all unpacking...er... except that I'm avoiding the last little bits of it because I don't want to unpack anymore.

Yes we are staying in my brothers' bedroom that has a 1970s Star Wars sheet hanging on the wall. Yes I might have turned some stuffed animals so they wouldn't stare at me. But like I said, things are coming together even though we miss my family lots...

Life Decisions

2011-08-20T16:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes making decisions are hard.

Sometimes admitting your fears out loud is really hard.

Sometimes I need that reminder of how great my support group is. Because it truly is a fabulous support group.

And sometimes admitting that the hard thing you wanted to avoid is the right thing is really really hard.

But you still hope in the very back of your mind that something else will come up.

Right now I'm learning how to be okay with not knowing where we will be after I graduate in April. I'm trying to enjoy the little things like buying my textbooks and looking through them in anticipation for my classes or finding out that I actually have the Arabic minor when I thought I was still two credits away from getting it. I have people around who love me lots. I'm a lucky girl. I'm doing yoga almost every day because it drops my stress level to manageable. Ultimately, Jeremy and I are doing well and I'm dang lucky he married me. Seriously. So I'm going to crack open a book (I'm caught up in four novels on top of my textbooks...), throw open my windows, forget that I'm worried, and read next to Jeremy as we listen to the wind and rain.

What a Jem

2011-08-16T16:36:00.000-07:00

I love my husband.

He is a master of many things.

He is a master packer.

A master driver/delivery boy (we carried an orange flag from one end of the construction site to the other).

A master hide-and-seek player.

A master uncle.

And a master at taking awkward photos.

All in all, it was a good weekend.

Good words

2011-08-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

So things have been a bit rough around the Lee-Spencer household. Jobs are obnoxious, school is overwhelming, etc... Friends and family have been helping us out lots, but my dear sis Maude sent me a much needed boost in the form of a beautiful speech given by J.K. Rowling. Before you either gag in disgust at how I might be a crazed HP fan or squeal in delight because you too are a crazed Potter lover, just take a [long] moment to read/watch her inspiring words. She talks about the importance of failure in life and the true purpose of having an imagination. I loved it. And I thought I would share it. Thanks Maude for passing it on!

New word

2011-08-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

Kafkaesque:

"an experience in which a person feels trapped by forces that seem simultaneously ridiculous, threatening, incomprehensible, and dangerous."

" of, relating to, or suggestive of Franz Kafka or his writings; especially: having a nightmarishly complex, bizarre, or illogical quality."

Today sucked...

2011-08-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

...in fact, the past few days have sucked.

My new theme song:

Smile

2011-08-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

I need to hear things like this more often.

And by this I mean Louis, delicious sounds, lovely lyrics, and a sense of calm.

Or maybe I just need calm.
But I still love this.

Chorizo

2011-07-31T11:06:00.000-07:00

I learned how to cook with chorizo when we made paella last night.

But the best part about buying chorizo has been the breakfast Jem made me when I wasn't feeling well this morning.

He's so good to me.

Delicious chorizo and egg burritos for breakfast in bed.

Relief

2011-07-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Rain
Sleep
A new day
An empty house
The printing of a paper
Messages from loved ones
Three complete applications
Good talks with friends
Dinner with family
New helmets
Rodeos
Yoga
Sun

Hmmm...

2011-07-14T20:03:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, third post of the day... It's a lot. But Natalya told me to look this one up. I kind of love it so much I want to share it. Beyoncé is scantily clad at the beginning (nothing we haven't seen before to be honest), but I'll just share it without more of my own thoughts.

MK's Rap

2011-07-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

So here is Mat Kearney's impromptu rap. I wish the words were a tad bit more decipherable, but it was more for my memory's sake. He does a pretty good job talking about the sweaty audience and people packed into the caged area of In The Venue, which normally houses the alcoholics, but too many kids were around for that...

Concert Goers

2011-07-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

I already knew Natalya is an awesome concert buddy before our concert trip last night.

Look at her being excited!

But boy, did Jeremy and I find out how awesome Miguel is as a concert buddy!

Seriously, he was so fun to have around.

Jem and I decided Miguel and Natalya will be regular concert goers with us.

And really, who doesn't want to be hanging out with a cool couple singing every word to each other?

We were all thrilled to be there.

I cannot neglect to say how wonderfully Mat Kearney played and sang last night.

I will work on uploading some footage of his impromptu rap.

so. stinking. good.

I love concerts.

Parentals...

2011-07-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

As I was coaching at a meet this weekend the mother of one of our competing swimmers was lecturing him about how he was probably dehydrated because he hadn't been drinking enough. The son responded at a certain point that he felt fine. The father of another competing swimmer jumped in on the conversation eager to share his bit of wisdom:

"By the time you feel fine, you're already dehydrated."

HUH?

I started to giggle when the arguing mother and her friend pounced on it and repeated it numerous times as they handed bottles of Gatorade over to the terribly confused and "already dehydrated" swimmer.

"By the time you feel fine...

...you're already dehydrated."

Sometimes I wonder about people...

2011-07-07T12:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get really sad when I think about how far away I will be from this girl

and it kinda makes me want to cry...

even though I'm super happy for her.

Seriously, I love her to death.

Added to my list

2011-06-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

I realize I may come across as a crazy (once you see his work that is...), but I LOVE a new artist.

And by artist I mean a painter that worked during the Northern Renaissance in the 16th century.

His name is Hieronymus Bosch.

My favorite piece of his is a triptych called Garden of Earthly Delights.

This is the triptych closed:

And this is the triptych open:

Isn't it wonderfully chaotic? Full of all sorts of insanity? I LOVE this.

Belated

2011-06-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR SISTER!

It's late only because of how much celebrating we did this weekend ;)

Jem's Dreams

2011-06-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite parts of mornings with Jeremy are his dreams. He has some crazy ones. I should get him a dream journal; however I'll probably be the one writing in them because he forgets his dreams so quickly after he wakes up. He always tells me his dreams in a groggy still-half-asleep state. I love it. Today he rolled toward me after I got back from swimming and he related this to me:

I dreamt last night that I was at the MTC again, but I was the Avatar.

And the MTC was a training center for fighting, not teaching.

Then I met this giant lizard bully. And I fought him.

First I earth bended all over the place. But he could earth bend too.

Then I water bended. He deflected.

Then I air bended. And he could air bend too.

And then, I knew what his weakness was...

I fire bended.

He roasted...

All that was left were his bones.

Six Months

2011-06-16T18:01:00.000-07:00

Jeremy and I have been married six months today.

I can't believe how quickly six months have passed.

Yeah, I know six months isn't much, but it's a lot for us. And I promise we'll not celebrate monthly after we have reached a year, but I'm more than happy to have an excuse to celebrate with him.

It's also crazy to think that up until a year ago I didn't think Jeremy and I would have any type of relationship outside of friends.

I'm ridiculously glad he kissed me a year ago.

I'm also glad he asked me to marry him.

I love Jeremy more every day.

Really, how could anyone resist such a charmer???

Schooled

2011-06-07T05:18:00.000-07:00

I have been schooled this term.
I'm not kidding. Field school has kicked my butt.
But I have learned a great deal.
Field school has been enjoyable at some parts, though less enjoyable at others. Like right now when my allergies are kicking in. They aren't normally bad, but my medicine has worn off and the winds blow the chest high grass all over the place. Two weeks away from ending! Why do I ~~suffer~~ sniffle at the end?
The good part is that this schooling has taught me much about myself and has made me question my future plans. Because now I am searching for what I truly wish to invest myself in when it comes to my schooling.
Can I just say the fact that law school keeps coming up in my ponderings? I will most definitely be schooled if it comes to law, not to mention the fact that I'd likely go into international law. Talk about a big fat school whipping experience.
I have been investigating many other options as well such as underwater archaeology, conflict resolution/peace building, international affairs, gender studies... the list goes on.
I'm continually left wondering "BUT WHAT DO I DO?"
When really I should be wondering "WHAT DO I WANT TO SCHOOL ME?"

Biking

2011-05-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Jem and I went on a bike ride!!!

It was glorious.

I haven't been on my bike for far too long...

Jem borrowed my dad's bike and we took off for Bridal Veil Falls.

We narrowly missed the rain on our ride.

It was gorgeous riding through the canyon.

We also had most of it to ourselves, which was even lovelier.

Also, Jem got a bike for $75, which means we will be biking EVEN MORE REGULARLY.

LOVE.

(sweaty bikers)

"I've got a perfect body cuz my eyelashes catch my sweat"

2011-05-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

I love this song. Mostly because it reminds me of Jeremy. I can't help it especially now that I'm hanging out at home alone because field school has been canceled for the day due to inclement weather. Maybe I'll take my husband out for a treat tonight. He has been helping my mom work on her yard sale prep, gardening, mowing lawns for my mom and grandparents, entertaining/reprimanding my brothers when they're annoying Maude and my mom, starting a new job to support our tiny family, and keeping me happy when I get home from long days at field school.

P.S. Paige also has been a lovely girl helping out with gardening and yard sale-ing. Such a 'jem' she is ;)

Jem

2011-05-15T19:08:00.000-07:00

I love taking pictures of this guy.

I'm pretty good at timing them.

Like when he's beating on my brothers.

Or working on our Easter eggs.

Or before he gives my mom her Mother's Day gift he made entirely by himself.

Or when we're discussing our garden plans not only for this fall but for future falls in our own place.

I really love this guy.

School?

2011-05-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

I have officially finished week 3 of field school. What do I do Monday through Friday from 7:30 a.m. until 5 p.m.? I will explain. As a side note Jeremy is listening to Shakira right now... I am currently aiding in research of the Fremont culture. They occupied most of Utah in 400 AD - 1300 AD. What makes them distinct is that they were maize farmers, rather than hunter-gatherers like the Archaic people before them and the Utes after them. And they just disappeared before the Ute and Shoshone showed up around 1400 or 1500 AD. They are also considered prehistoric by archaeologists because we have no written record of them. Nobody is really sure what happened to the Fremont. There are a few theories such as joining the Anasazi or being taken over by another culture. The material record is somewhat difficult to read because it doesn't always give a complete record of a particular people. This is why 1- archaeologists like Marx (he talks about materialism a lot) and 2- why written records are wonderful because we know much more about past cultures.
Anyhow I am working at a site called Wolf Village. The object of our excavation is to understand the size of the village (how many structures were built), how long the village was utilized, what their sustenance included (how much maize they grew/ate, what other plants and animals they ate, etc), how their habits of hunting and farming changed over their time of occupancy, and their architecture. We have not found any human remains on the site. Our field school includes: Dr. Allison (the head honcho), Scott (the fancy mapper), Wendy (the queen of the lab), 4 grad school crew chiefs, and 22 students. The students are each assigned to a crew chief who oversees our work in a specific area of excavation.
My crew is excavating a small structure found last year in a 1x1 m test pit. The test pit revealed two post holes and a section of the hearth. Hearths are typically located in the center of the structure. So our job this year is to figure out how big the structure is and what type of structure it is. The Fremont are known for building pit houses (or storage pits) which are pits dug about 3 feet into the ground with walls and a roof built over the pit. The door to the structure was usually located in the roof. The walls and roof were constructed from sticks, beams, and adobe. The other type of structure is the adobe house which is built from ground level up with adobe, sticks, and beams. We keep pieces of adobe we find that have nice impressions of the beams, and sometimes even have fingerprints of the people who built the structure. Awesome. We uncovered three burnt beams in our structure that are lying in an east-west position. We have found a wall, but it is not an adobe wall, though there is some adobe in it. Those two indications lead us to believe our structure was a quadrilateral pit house. Quadrilateral pit houses began to be built commonly during 900-1100 AD. Our carbon dates have given us a general date of 1000 AD, so it fits. And yes radio carbon dating is a viable scientific test yielding actual dates.
Just as we have been for the past few weeks, we are digging, screening (we dump the dirt into screens to shake out dirt and find artifacts like lithics aka the broken pieces *debitage* from creating projectile points, completed or almost completed projectile points, ceramics, and bone), photographing, drawing pictures, filling out paperwork, taking extensive notes, and spending long hours in the sun in order to find the edges of the structure and ultimately know its size. I helped pick up pollen and flotation samples from off the floor this week. They will be tested to find out what flora was brought into the structure. I also gently gathered the charred beams we found into batting to have them sent to dendrochronology - a fancy way of saying a lab is going to tree ring count because we'll be able to date the structure from the tree rings, or at least know when the tree was cut down.
And that is a long explanation of something I could take even longer to explain. Believe me, I left out all of the gory details...

Productivity

2011-05-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

Today has been an extremely loooooong day but I feel like I have accomplished a great deal.

I just wish I had pictures of the garden Jeremy, Paige, cousin Jake, Theo, Cy, Maude, and I worked on so Mom wouldn't have to - and because Jeremy, Paige, and I will be living in the house in the fall and we might as well take care of the food we'll be eating in a few months!

We worked almost all day. And it looks loverly.

We planted:

squash, zucchini, cucumber, eggplant, tomatoes, peas, carrots, LOADS of herbs (mostly basil...mmm...), watermelon, cantaloupe, chard, lettuce, and pumpkins.

We weeded around the strawberries and the apple, peach, and apricot trees.

We need to weed around the raspberries still.

Jeremy planted my dad's new pear tree.

And we should also learn how to tend the grapes so they don't die in the fall.

The rain was perfectly timed to provide with a break and moist soil for planting.

We even got a delicious lunch on our rain break.

Come fall we are going to be gorging ourselves on fresh produce so as to not let it all go to waste.

The other great accomplishment of the day was our trip to the sale at Out'N'Back.

It was MARVELOUS.

Guess what Jeremy and I got for under $250????

A tent, a sleeping bag, two CamelBaks, two LED flashlights, and a nice backpacking backpack. Boo-ya. Now we are both ready for camping.

Or backpacking through Europe...?

Pictures of the jardin will inevitably come.

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T13:50:00.001-07:00

I love my momma. I also love that we both enjoy this:

Julia Ward Howe's Mother's Day Proclamation 1870
Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts,
Whether our baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."
From the bosom of the devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."
Blood does not wipe out dishonor, nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

"A little sweat aint never hurt nobody"

2011-05-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

This video is pretty interesting to me. It's Beyoncé promoting Michelle Obama's Let's Move Initiative. Talk about a clever marketing scheme! I honestly haven't read much into the initiative at this point, but this video in conjunction with the behind the scenes video (easily found on YouTube) is actually really great. I definitely support the fight against childhood obesity and I do think health is an issue that needs to be at least discussed publicly. Let's face it, Jamie Oliver's attempt at disgusting American kids with how chicken nuggets are made was a fail. What better way to convince kids to be healthy than have a celebrity like Beyoncé create a viral video of her dancing with kids as a form of exercise? I'll admit the "wave the American flag" was a little much for me (as if being healthy is the "American" way??? I thought the problem was that we're all obese?), but in general she's giving simple exercise tips like jump rope, or just moving your body, and being comfortable with yourself doing it.

The truth is the "American diet" isn't doing anyone much good. Did you know that occurrences of six-month old obesity are rapidly rising in number? SCARY. I also feel much more justified in my careful shopping, ensuring plenty of fruits and vegetables make it into our house and diet. Jeremy and I are trying to build good habits now for ourselves and for when we're trying to teach our kids how to be healthy. It's NOT an easy task. Exercise and healthy eating isn't always an easy lifestyle to establish, but I think it's worth the struggle.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

Future plans

2011-04-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

Jem and I are already talking about what we want in our future home.

Crazy?

Maybe.

We also may or may not have purchased this print by Klimt...

For Paige

2011-04-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

Surprise!

Because I'm still shocked myself.

Sorry it's not a more attractive picture...

What the...

2011-04-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

So in my studying I googled "osama" to find the IMDb of the movie entitled Osama. Obviously some other things will come up in that search.

Osama - Mr. Bean mashup?!?!

Technically its title is: "Osama BEAN Laden"
People these days...

Dear Whiney Mormon Girls...

2011-04-18T11:36:00.000-07:00

who were complaining behind me after we learned about the 4 General Councils of Christianity.

There a few things you should know about Christianity in general.
Why?
Because YOU ARE CHRISTIAN.
And guess what?
The 4 General Councils are part of your history.
I don't care if you can't name exactly where and when they took place, but if you are/claim to be Christian you should know:

some councils were formed in the 4th and 5th centuries AD to establish some basic Christian doctrines, including the divinity of Christ, the Holy Trinity Doctrine, the Original Sin Doctrine, and the Dual Nature of Jesus.

If you think this information is unimportant, as you griped as we walked out of class, you may want to consider the fact that your Christian denomination is only one of 20,000 and you probably should understand the similarities to/differences from the 19,999 other denominations, which stem from these basic doctrines established a very long time ago.

Just some thoughts.

Your friend,
Sophie

Oh finals...

2011-04-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

You know that moment where you think "Shoot... I have six finals to study for and take within the next week..."
I just had that moment.
So even though I started studying for finals almost two weeks ago (I'm a bit obsessive at times, don't judge), I'm panicking about how I'm possibly going to survive this coming week.
And I know I'm stressing when I pull out my iPod to blast The Strokes, Forence + The Machine, and Cage the Elephant as loudly as I can to prevent the impending hyperventilation.
Now I'm off to continue my studies.

stress + dreams =

2011-04-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

Stress Dreams.

And how do Jeremy and I take care of them?

Movies.

Lots and lots of movies.

Granted, some where for my Humanities of Islam class; however, most of them were on my 'To Watch' list anyway.

What have we been watching so avidly?

American Gangster

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Despicable Me

Galaxy Quest

Never Cry Wolf

Into the Wild

Night Catches Us

A Town Called Panic

Rango

Clash of the Titans

Arranged

Osama

Paradise Now

Lemon Tree

District 9

Leila

Treasure Planet

Sucker Punch

Prince of Persia

Must sees:

A Town Called Panic

Paradise Now

Night Catches Us

Arranged

Question: am I really the ONLY student of 68 students (mostly Christians) who caught onto the Christ themes in Paradise Now?!

Dare

2011-04-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

I have a dare. I dare you to go for a drive, roll down your windows, enjoy the sun, and listen to this song:

Or this one:

You choose.

Lovely

2011-03-30T08:06:00.000-07:00

I'm passing this on from Maude. I love it just like she did.

WORDS from Everynone on Vimeo.

Sometimes the house smells like bacon...

2011-03-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

And then I remember how much fun it was to live in a house full of girls who made jokes about silly things that made them laugh late into the night. Funny how smells remind us of things...

Neopolitan Dream? Or Cream?

2011-03-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

I had an odd dream last night. In light of my recent frustrations over the awful and utterly absurd prejudices people maintain (ex: the Arab terrorist, the drug-selling Mexican) I dreamt last night about all Muslims, Christians, and Jews. I dreamt that they were all dancing together. To this song. Weird, I know. But there they were dancing happily together to Lisa Mitchell's cheerful beat. And when I was trying to make sense of my dream in a still sleepy state I thought, "then who is vanilla, who is chocolate, and who is strawberry?"

I'm not very bright when I'm half asleep.

Beginnings

2011-03-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

I usually forget this part of the story, but I am always flattered when Jeremy reminds me. He told it to me again this morning as we talked about Egypt.
We had picked two different trips to go on. Being an archaeology major, I chose the extended version of the Upper Egypt trip to see more temples. Jeremy was more interested in playing so he chose the other version of the trip where they went to a resort and played, no extra temples. While I was wandering around ancient temples and jumping into the Nile, Jeremy was snorkeling and chatting with other study abroad kids, one of which is married. Married Jake* started asking Jeremy about his perfect girl, who he saw himself married to. Jeremy's reply? "This is going to sound weird... But it's Sophie Lee." It was kind of a shocker for the guys he was with, but also for him to admit it out loud. My favorite part is what Married Jake said: "So go get her."
And that was the end of the conversation.
A week later, he got me.

*there were three Jakes on the study abroad designated as: Baby Jake, Married Jake, Catholic Jake

Harry & Sally

2011-03-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

Last week was beastly. It was full of tests, stress, and sickness, though we also had high points of good food and great company for Pi Day and St. Patty's. We knew it was going to be a rough week, so we decided Saturday would be our celebratory day and we would reward Jem for finishing his capstone.

Saturday we celebrated by eating out, being lazy (I read an entire book that evening while Jeremy designed kayaks), and adding two tiny new members to our family as Jem's reward.

Meet Harry and Sally.

Oh, and top-heavy Nefertiti...

Sally? Or Harry?...

Honestly I am still figuring out who is who at this point; however...

Congrats to Jeremy for finishing his capstone!

Female Musicians

2011-03-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about this a lot the past few days. Where are all of the great female musicians? You know, the women who do more than just sell their bodies and sing to a heavy technological beat written for them by someone else?

So I compiled a list of female musicians who either are solo performers or participate in a band. I tried picking women who are producing more recently, but I may not have stayed true to that parameter. I glanced through my iTunes in addition to jotting down names that came immediately to mind. And yes I did list them in alphabetical order. I thought it made it look a bit cleaner...

I realize my list is definitely not comprehensive in any way though I do like this list so far because it provides a nice view of all the varieties of women and music that exist. But if anyone has any additions, I'm happy to hear them. Because quite a few women are out there producing great music, of all kinds.

Alicia Keys

A Fine Frenzy

Alison Krauss

Amy Winehouse

Annie Lennox

Asa

Carla Bruni

Cat Power

Constance Amiot

Corrine Bailey Rae

Diam's

Dido

Feist

Fleetwood Mac

Florence + The Machine

Imogen Heap/Frou Frou

India Arie

Ingrid Michaelson

La Roux

Lily Allen

Lisa Mitchell

Lykke Li

M.I.A.

Maria Taylor/Azure Ray

Meiko

Nanci Ajram

Nanci Griffith

Natasha Bedingfield

Nelly Furtado

Norah Jones

Rachel Portman

Regina Spektor

Rilo Kiley

Sarah McLachlan

She & Him

Sheila Chandra

Sheryl Crow

Shiny Toy Guns

Sia

Silversun Pickups

Solange Knowles

Sondre Lerche

Stars

Taylor Swift

Tegan & Sara

The Sounds

The Strokes

The Ting Tings

The Weepies

The White Stripes

The Xx

Yael Naim

Yas

Clockwork

2011-03-11T13:08:00.000-08:00

Every morning the alarm goes off at 6:40 a.m.

I reach up to hit snooze as he rolls over and slips his arms around me.

I succumb to both him and sleep for just another ten minutes.

Every morning I can't resist.

I want to be sure I have absorbed enough of his warmth for the rest of the day...

Ponderings

2011-03-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

Things have been pretty crazy in our lives lately. Jeremy is writing his capstone paper (his thesis basically) which is due on Tuesday. He is also getting ready to take three midterms on the successive Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of next week. Ouch. I've lucked out with evenly spaced tests. I've been taking a weekly test since January.

We are also considering getting some pet frogs! Just little African dwarfs, but they'd be fun for our little room. And they require no training. Lovely. Jeremy is quite convinced in his research so far. I'm crossing my fingers...

I should also say how awesome it is to have a husband that cleans whenever my compulsion to clean kicks in. Rather than watch me scrub the shower, he starts scrubbing the sink.

Let's not forget upcoming holidays (all of which come before the end of April!):
Pi Day
St. Patrick's Day
Easter
Lumberjack Day

And in closing, I won't insist that you listen to all of this because it is nine minutes long, but at least spend a minute taking a gander at one of Egypt's greatest musicians Umm Kulthum. She's wonderful. I'll even link to a video with English subtitles! I really do love her. I admit have become quite like Arabs in that way... And I love that Arabs are suckers for cheesy love music. Umm Kulthum is not cheesy, but singers like Nanci Ajram sure are! And it's great. Their cheesy music is ten times better than listening to Miley Cyrus... (Not to mention Arabic rap kicks recent American rap butt)
Anyhow, enjoy!

Go figure

2011-03-03T12:15:00.000-08:00

I have considered writing on this topic for a few weeks now, but my hesitation and embarrassment is gone. I'm tired of the taboo that seems to exist when it comes to talking about how hard the first year of marriage can be. I'm not saying that I'm unhappy or that I'm struggling. I'm actually quite happy with my decision to marry Jeremy. But that doesn't make the change an easy thing. Being married is new. Sleeping in the same bed is an adjustment, but that's only the beginning of sharing everything and getting used to each other. You have to talk about money, plan meals together that you both like, decide on jobs and school schedules together, where you're willing to live, how you want to divvy up time between in-laws...the list goes on. I really don't want people to think marriage is bad generally, or that my marriage is awful. It isn't. Marriage is wonderful. My marriage is wonderful. But I'm tired of being embarrassed to talk about the hard parts because they make the good parts even better.

I didn't really known how to talk about it either. In my struggle I turned to my mom. I wish I could have said something to her, but in my shame I simply asked to read her thesis. Her thesis contains a few personal narratives that comforted me greatly. I love her stories in any form she chooses to tell them, but her thesis helped me understand her first year of marriage in a way I could finally relate to. I felt okay about not yet having marriage figured out. My embarrassment slowly started to fade. My own mother had struggled and wrote about it openly. I wasn't an anomaly.

Embarrassment finally dissipated this week when a good friend of mine, who is about my mother's age, also confessed to a difficult first year of marriage. I think people fail to mention how difficult the adjustment period - or the first year - can be. I'm realizing I should feel more comfortable with my awkward acclimatization to sharing a bed or planning meals with someone for the rest of my life. It was never meant to be easy. And I'm okay with that.

Radiohead

2011-02-26T22:08:00.000-08:00

I don't mean the band, although they are quite wonderful. I mean Jeremy. His head is a radio. Songs just pop into his head within seconds of each other. Sometimes it isn't so bad. Other times it's awful... The other day he started humming "You Can Fly", which I was slightly surprised by. Minutes later he was driving me crazy with "Always and Forever", which drove me INSANE. He will even hum songs he doesn't know the words to, but that never lasts too long because someone like Kid Cudi will jump into his head. It's crazy. I don't understand where it comes from...

Springish Snow

2011-02-23T14:08:00.000-08:00

I have become a bad blogger. On the other hand I've been doing great in my classes (mostly), our meals are much improved from last month, Jeremy and I are getting better at living together, and even my journal keeping has been fabulous!

Jem and I have been slowly adjusting to the married life. We have been cooking more regularly together, which has become deliciously full of foods like honey-balsamic sweet potato mash, ratatouille, and curry....

We have become incredible movie watchers, devouring all kinds of international films, children's movies (Despicable Me!), and an occasional action film, just for Jeremy. Recent films of interest: Shinobi, The Fifth Element, and The Illusionist (Chomet's recent release)

We are also better at making sure we get out of the house and away from homework and research to do fun things together. Like snow shoeing!

Monday was a perfect day for borrowing snow shoes.

It was a gorgeous day. The snow was nice and powdery and we were the only ones out on the trail. We tried taking a photo, but we are destined to photographic mediocrity.... I had to adjust some things because we were washed out with all the bright white snow. It happens.

We had a lovely time though!

2 months

2011-02-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

Jem and I have been married for TWO WHOLE MONTHS. We're actually more excited to be looking at fifty years together... Still, two months have passed quickly. It has been almost 3 years since we first became friends and almost 8 months exactly from when we first kissed/started dating. I told some of the swimmers I coach that dating isn't really necessary because my husband and I never actually went on a date until after we were dating. We also started dating in secret, which is an odd beginning to things too... It's a good thing everything worked out!

Video

2011-02-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

This has been one of my favorite songs since I was... maybe 14? It explains quite well how I've been feeling lately. The lyrics are perfect for my recent mood... have a listen

The Dreaded Day...

2011-02-12T13:59:00.000-08:00

As I've been getting ready for my nap I've been thinking about what my good friend Natalya said to me about Valentine's Day and I think I quite agree with her. Maybe this is coming from obsolete sources considering we're both married, but I think she is right when she says Valentine's Day is great because it's not necessarily about your significant other, but about love in general. My parents were good about making it a day for exemplifying love within our family by giving everyone a new book. Love is all sorts of things. And isn't it great that it's an verb?
Love is eating lunch with your sister and mom.
Love is chatting with your friends over hot chocolate.
Love is giving tulip bulbs.
Love is laughing.
Love is embracing a new culture.
Love is cleaning up your home, your country.
Love is eating good food.
Love is forgiving yourself for your mistakes and hoping next time you'll be better.
Love is smiling at a baby as it rolls by in a cart at the store.
I'm with Natalya when she says that Valentine's Day is not an excuse to mope about how you may be single. It is a day to take a good look at the people you love, or should learn to love, and celebrate your ability to love. This may sound pathetic or cheesey, but think about it before criticizing it. Natalya always makes a good point.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2011-02-11T08:40:00.000-08:00

MUBARAK = GONE

I love you EGYPT. I am bursting with joy for you.

Photos

2011-02-07T07:48:00.000-08:00

My wedding photos have arrived. Kind of. My cousin put them online so we could see them before the DVD arrived from Thailand. Long way, I know. Anywho, I'm quite pleased with how they turned out. I may look crazy in one or two, but we already know I'm crazy so that's fine...

http://johngoodman.photoshelter.com/gallery/Wedding-Museum/G0000Zs26srfKJCI

Egypt

2011-02-04T14:20:00.000-08:00

Quite a few people have been asking my opinion on Egypt lately. I am more than happy to share my thoughts, but I warn you that if you bring up information from Fox News I will kindly send you to Al-Jazeera online and ask you to listen to the Arab information. The Egyptian information. In all honesty, Jem and I have been glued to the live stream on Al-Jazeera. I have been keeping tabs on my Egyptian friends because they're worried about their families and they're angry with Mubarak. I don't blame them. Mubarak has not been a good leader. He has not taken care of his people. He ignored his country. I am amazed by the solidarity of Egyptians. Did you know that the Egyptians who demonstrated went back the next day to clean up the square in which they demonstrated? Did you know that they have organized themselves to hold prayer while Christians stand guard, people have been handing out food during demonstrations, and doctors have left their jobs to walk the streets and care for the injured? Is that not impressive?
I am, however, extremely disappointed in those pro-Mubarak demonstrators who struck out violently. The violence was uncalled for. Let it also be known that a majority of them, if not all, were paid off to be pro-Mubarak demonstrators. That is sad. In spite of that, the military is now blocking any pro-Mubarak demonstrators to enter Meidan Tahrir (Liberation Square in downtown Cairo) because they refuse to allow continued violence. They want peace to be the tool of change.
As for the Muslim Brotherhood I would like to share one of my favorite quotes I heard today: "When people talk about the Muslim Brotherhood I'm not sure if they're serious or sarcastic." I feel similarly. I am tired of hearing people tell me Al-Qaeda is backing the Muslim Brotherhood.
1- Al-Qaeda has nothing to gain by supporting a party that wants to bring organization. The MB definitely wants power, but they also want order. Terrorism thrives on disorganization. Al-Qaeda would prefer anarchy. Supporting the development of organization does not help them.
2- The Muslim Brotherhood committed acts of terror in the 80's. They are not a "terrorist organization". They are an organization dedicated to political involvement. I am not saying I support them. I don't. At all. And I don't agree with acts of terror. But they are not an organization that is based on creating terror. So please understand the vocabulary you are using, recognize how fear is spread through misunderstanding, and stop saying they're a terrorist organization.
I am also going to address Islamophobia. Yes it does exist. It is rampant in the United States.
1- Islam is not a religion of oppression or violence. Its very name is based on the same roots as the Arabic word for peace. S-L-M= salaam = peace.
2- Egypt is not Iran. It is not Saudi Arabia. It is Egypt. And the struggle that the Egyptian people are making is entirely secular. Demonstrators yell Allahu Akbar because it is a traditional saying. I say it too because I believe it. God is great. What is so wrong about that phrase? الله اكبر
As for the government and women... The upcoming government (Mubarak will not be in power for much longer) is not going to prevent women from getting an education. I heard someone talking about how an Islamic government would ruin womens' lives in Egypt. They said: "What if a girl wants to wear a bikini under such an oppressive government?" Really people?!
1- Egyptians would never settle for an oppressive government. Not after Mubarak especially. They want their freedoms. Have you noticed how they are united in this? They wouldn't even settle for Mubarak saying he would never run in elections again. That's called second rate. They will continue until they get the real deal. This is SECULAR. They want freedoms for EVERYONE. For Christians, for Muslims, for men, for women, for old, for young. Also, did you know there are more women earning degrees in Egypt than men? That is not about to change while there are women protesting along with men for the exact same rights.
2- Egyptians wear whatever they dang well please, not to mention Egyptian women. If you have ever seen anyone mess with an Egyptian woman, you know what I mean. You don't mess. It's worse than messing with Texas. I promise. Socially it is more acceptable to be modest (kind of like Mormon social standards...), but being modest doesn't require any veiling. What is socially acceptable is to respect your body. And if you feel like wearing a bikini, you wear one without inhibitions.
Bottom line: the next government is not going to be an oppressive Islamic government, particularly emphasizing oppression of women. It's just not going to happen.
I would also like to point out before finishing that Tunisia influenced Egypt and now Egypt has influenced official change in the Syrian and Jordanian governments (the Jordanian king called an entirely new cabinet this week in response to protests held in Amman), Yemen is demanding change, and Libya and Algeria have also held demonstrations for improving their governments, and even now demonstrations in support of Egypt have been held across the United States. This is history happening right before our eyes. The Middle East is fighting for its own democracy. The greatest things we could possibly do is to support it and to pray for a peaceful transition.

Retraction in honor of democracy

2011-01-28T14:01:00.000-08:00

I realize I said I was taking a break from blogging, but I can't help saying something about:

ام الدنية

- "mother of the world" -

Egypt.

(If some people have issues with me calling Egypt the mother of the world they should realize it is a common term in Arabic as well as a quote directly from Joseph Smith).

They deserve the freedoms for which they are struggling.

I have friends there who deserve it.

Muslims and Christians, men and women, old and young are struggling together.

That's incredible.

And if you would like to know more about the situation DO NOT read the articles Yahoo is publishing. They DO NOT know what they're talking about. It's absurd.

Start with The New York Times and work your way up to Al-Jazeera.

They know.

Now Tunisia, Egypt, and even Jordan are joined in protests and riots to create their own democracies.

It's time to step it up Mr. President.

Let's help build the democracies America claims to support...

hindering them won't make our world a peaceful one.

May God bless you مصر, mother of the world.

Cosmic Love

2011-01-27T19:13:00.000-08:00

I love this song.

Also, I love my husband who takes care of me on my bad days
my sister who listens to me babble about nonsense
my mom who always helps.

And I'm taking a break from blogging.

Religion

2011-01-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

I am a fairly private person. I do not like to share personal things unless I feel a particular need in certain situations. Religion tends to fall under my "personal" category, hence my lack of religious references. But in all of my assigned readings this past week, I simply can't help making a few comments.

I am taking quite a few classes about religions outside of my own, which means my reading about various religious practices, especially in light of my own faith, has increased quite dramatically. And in all of my reading I wish more than ever that people would be more willing to understand their fellowmen that they consider "foreign" or "different." This applies not only to the peers of my faith, but to my friends all over the world, regardless of their religious perspectives. I have found wonderful similarities between Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, and Christianity, in addition to shining truths they all contribute to the great store of human knowledge and experience. One of my favorite anecdotes I read was about a religious leader who is often misunderstood:

“One day a little old woman came to him to ask whether old wretched women would also go to Paradise. ‘No,’ he answered, ‘there are no old women in Paradise!’ Then, looking at her grieved face, he said with a smile: ‘They will all be transformed in Paradise, for there, there is only one youthful age for all!’”

Who can resist such a sweet response? Do people really regard Muhammad as so awful a man?

And what about that "strange religion" Hinduism that actually encourages all people to stay faithful to their own religion rather than convert because each individual should rightly follow their own way to God and salvation?

I dislike the word "tolerance" because it denotes the negativity of "I guess I'll put up with you and your silly beliefs." Religion is never about tolerance. And neither is love. Religion is about love and acceptance, no matter the "other person's" religion or beliefs.

To end, I would like to mention something Joseph Smith has said. I don't often declare my religious leanings because frankly, it isn't the world's business to know, but I do quite like what Joseph Smith said. He also is also a religious leader who is often misunderstood:

“One of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism,’ is to receive truth, let it come from whence it may."

Truth can be found in every religion, in every science, in every piece of philosophy. Let's not shut out what truth we can find in all aspects of human experience, whether it be from another time or place.

Stuck

2011-01-11T20:51:00.000-08:00

I have had this song stuck in my head for the past week. And in Jem's, poor guy. I play it all the time. Maude and Romy rock out to it. I love the music video too. Just watch it. Or at least listen to it. I know it's crazy. So am I.

Also, what is a good idea for a care package to Australia? Just thinking...

Eleben Sebenty

2011-01-06T17:59:00.000-08:00

Jem and I have an addiction. It goes like this:

-You hungry?

-Ya3ni

-Whadya want?

-I dunno...

-Is it getting old for you?

-Nope. I'm game.

...

-Welcome to Rancherito's. What would you like to order?

-2 carne asade burritos and a large horchata.

-'ok-ay that will be eleben sebenty.

It's bad news for our checkbooks if we keep spending eleben sebenty every day...

Clarification

2010-12-27T15:36:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I thought I should clarify why I call Jeremy "Jem" NOT because he is a gem. That is what could be termed barf-worthy, quite along the same lines as Twilight. It all makes me cringe.
I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to bring myself to call him "Jer". I tried once. And it felt like a rock was rolling out of my mouth. So I waited patiently for the right name to present itself, which it did. Remember that classic book titled To Kill a Mockingbird? Yes, well, Scout and Jem are the children of Atticus. Jem is short for Jeremy. Now does it all make sense? Paige do you understand?

Married?

2010-12-23T16:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to respond to these questions:

"How is married life?"
and

"Are you pregnant yet?"

Seriously people? You're already thinking about three years from now?! Oh grandmothers...

Anyhow, married life is... I dunno. It doesn't feel any different really. I now get to poke Jem in bed as we're falling asleep simply to bug him rather than poking him on a couch to tell him it's time to go home. It works out. I'm really mature...

We also got a camera! As it turns out, Jem is still immature and makes me take practice being in pictures with our smile-detecting camera:

And then I get him back for it:

(notice how he's trying not to "smile for the camera" - pun intended)

And then we decide to take pictures of our first ADORABLE creche. The people are about 2 cm tall (yes I use the metric system - it actually makes sense to me)

I love it. How can you not be excited about such a little thing?

And in other announcements:

MERRY CHRISTMAS

because we all should remember the birth of Christ, even if he was technically born in April.

We're allowed to enjoy the pagan-ness of Christmas in combination with Christ, okay?

Day 4?

2010-12-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

Of being married? I'm still trying to process the idea that I have a husband. Weird...
Like I can say: "My husband is feeling ill today, poor guy."
My husband?! That doesn't sound right to me. He also informed me that I am welcome to call him hubby whenever I feel like it. That sometimes is more strange that saying I have a husband...
But we have had fun together doing Christmas shopping, new clothes and shoes shopping for Jem, seeing Tron at the IMAX, using the TRAX to get everywhere, and reading.
Tonight we're going to eat sushi for dinner. Really good sushi. I hope it does Jem some good after feeling sick and sleeping all day.
Tomorrow we're going ice skating at the Gallivan Plaza!
I can't believe I'm married. I'm happy to be with him all the time though. So happy.

And a HUGE thanks to my family and friends for helping so much with our awesome reception. Most of our guests awarded it the "Coolest Reception Ever" Award. We appreciate it loads.

Last single post

2010-12-15T07:37:00.000-08:00

I am grateful for:

wonderful family members

good friends, old and new

an amazing man to marry

a warm house

knowledge of the truth

well-written books

the end of finals

snow!

(I get a white wedding...I know, it's not funny)

Christmas time

little kids singing

...also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY!

He is now 17 years old. Whoa.

Early musings

2010-12-14T04:16:00.000-08:00

It is 5 a.m.

I am trying to study some before my final in two hours.

Being engaged is a bit more rough than I believed people said it was.
I will likely fail this final because I have stopped caring about it.

I really don't know that much about Ancient Egypt.

I finally turned in a paper after almost a year of research.

On these little guys.

I get married in 3 days.

I just want it to be over.

The fact that all Jeremy and I had to do was drive downtown, fill out a small form each, pay $50, and sign a paper to be legally married is amazing. We have it pretty easy. Aside from the amount of money we paid for a small piece of paper, we are actually paying for something bigger.

I am ready to read like a lazy person ALL. BREAK. LONG.

Where did my brain go?

2010-12-05T14:01:00.000-08:00

I keep looking at my list of assignments to complete, telling myself, "Just make it through Monday. And then all you have to do is study for finals. You can do it!...?"

I have given myself many pep talks in my life, similar to this one.

I always want to do everything I possibly can.

It has taken me a long time to figure out that sometimes everything cannot be done;

however, NEVER before have I thought, "Forget that 2 page paper. Leave it be because you'll poke your eyes out if you try and you have more important assignments to finish. Your brain is already on overdrive..."

NEVER BEFORE HAVE I NOT DONE AN ASSIGNMENT.

I actually want to cry at the thought. The thought that I'm NOT doing everything I possibly can to get good grades and do my best in school.

But I AM doing my best in school. I really am trying.

So why do I feel like I'm failing at it? I don't know.

But I am not writing an essay that is due tomorrow because it is only worth 25 points.

And I have two 100 point essays I should be working on instead.

Where has my brain gone?

On a happier note:

Jeremy and I get along quite well. I'm lucky he still has a brain.

But he should probably keep Sharpies out of my reach...

Music

2010-11-29T09:31:00.000-08:00

My lovely sister Maude suggested a new song to me this morning.

She told me it was a pretty song. I agree.

I miss her. She is in Boston having the time of her life.

But I also wanted to share it because I know I have loved ones who are stressed,

who want to cry from feeling hopeless,

who are stuck in bed,
who are homesick,

who are cold,

who are having birthdays,

and who need help making it to Christmas Break.

I hope this song can help you all feel happy and calm and loved.

Because I love you all, even if that doesn't seem like much.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Have a listen my dear ones

Persuasion

2010-11-27T15:30:00.000-08:00

I read Persuasion yesterday. I quite enjoyed it. I haven't read an Austen novel in a few years now. I miss reading for leisure. Fortunately, I combined my thirst for a pleasure read with a necessary book report, which I am currently writing. Okay, so I may be taking a break... but only because I wanted to share this quote. It made me smile when I read it. It sounds a lot like something my mom said to me about getting married.

"When any two young people take it into their heads to marry, they are pretty sure by perseverance to carry their point, be they ever so poor, or ever so imprudent, or ever so little likely to be necessary to each other's ultimate comfort. This may be bad morality to conclude with, but I believe it to be truth"

I forgot how much I love to just sit and read.

Smile like you mean it

2010-11-22T08:58:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been terribly resistant to seeing people. Not that I don't love people. Well, some people I don't love. Some people are just mean and I'm tired of it. But I mostly don't want to see people because I am trying to write five different papers (each 8 pages or more = about 40 pages of writing in 2 weeks) and study for a huge final. Oh, and I'm getting ready to be married. Sometimes I forget that part... I suppose I don't have an aversion to kids because I love hiding out in the nursery. Those kids just want to be friends and play with dolls and cars and share their snacks with me. Can all of my family and friends be like that?

My aversion (or maybe it's misanthropy?) inevitably melts away when I receive a phone call or a message from an old friend or a family member reminding me they love me and are excited for me. They offer their help and I feel selfish for being worried about myself. So maybe I love nursery because I get to help out the little kids I'm with, even if it's helping them by reading a book or blowing bubbles for them to dance around. And I have been trying to offer my help to friends and family. When I was upset with someone I tried helping my mom out with the invitations because I knew she had a lot to put together. I try making a cheerful difference with my brothers or at work or in class because I know what it's like to feel discouraged. And as sad as I can be at moments, my mom's enthusiasm for my wedding is hard to stifle. Maybe I'll go make my ill brother some soup now.

Beauty

2010-11-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

There is beauty in little things everywhere. In the children that live across the world. In cathedrals, in temples, in mosques. In people who can believe differently, but still find a way to love. I am normally more reserved than this, but religion is supposed to be accepting, or if nothing else, tolerant (inclined to tolerate the beliefs, practices, or traits of others). I can't believe that Christ, or God, would tell me to hurt someone because they're different from me. And he wouldn't tell them to hurt me. And most people believe this way. Most people want to live in peace with their crazy families. Most people want to live a life where they can celebrate weddings, births, deaths, and just being together without trouble.

So why is it always about fighting?

Busy with life

2010-11-16T18:28:00.000-08:00

I often wish I had things to say, things to write for everyone to read so they could hear my thoughts and know exactly what it is that I have been doing day in and day out.
But I don't have anything quite exciting to write.
Or I forget when I do think "hey, I should write about that"
I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said every day was good.
I wouldn't be telling the truth if I said every day was bad.
But how could I know what is good if I don't know what is bad?
I don't want to whine because I honestly have nothing to whine about.
I'm just learning how to be with Jeremy, how to depend on him, how to remember always that he is my best friend. We talk a lot about what we hope our lives will be. I enjoy those talks. Even if we're only talking about our first week of marriage.
Also, lately I have been emotional.
Yet I'm comforted by Jeremy and his patience, whether it is sad emotion or exuberant emotion.
I have all kinds of things going on in life like school, my academic career, brother time, Jeremy, church, Sophie time, wedding plans, friends... Busy. Busy with life.
So the invitations will be out by the end of this week.
And in one month from today...
I will be married.

Can you believe?

2010-11-11T07:55:00.000-08:00

I sometimes can't believe everything that is changing and happening, not only to me, but to my friends and family. We're all growing up!

I happened upon a picture of Spencer last night and it made me think of everything that has occurred since I started college, or even since I started living, and how life is so full of surprises. I know I'm not the only one who looks at their life and can say "wow... look where I came from! Look who I have become!" I'm excited for my sister Maude is at the very beginning of her entire college life adventure. I'm excited for her to look down at her life and wonder what in the world she wants to achieve. I am excited for all of my friends and family who are dating someone they love or are getting married to their love, and all of my friends who are pregnant or have children (I have at least 7 friends in that category), all of my friends and family who have done/are doing/will do amazing work in various countries, and everyone who is finishing an old stage of life and moving on to a wonderful new stage. I'm pretty sure that includes just about everyone I know. Isn't that cool?

Mmmm...

2010-11-06T09:49:00.000-07:00

You know those mornings when you sleep in because you're exhausted? I love those mornings, especially when I have no other obligations outside of homework. And then you realize it's ten in the morning, but you stay in your bed because it's warm and delicious? Yes, as much as I don't like that my day is almost already half over... I do love sleeping in every so often. And then you are invited to hang out with your lovely friends and you get to do homework in your bed until then? Lovely lovely lovely day. I even have a lovely view of the colorful leaves outside of my window. And then you get ready to really start your day after you buy tickets for yourself and your little brothers to Harry Potter. What an exciting day...

2010-11-05T11:31:00.000-07:00

So maybe I'm enjoying listening to my Arabic music. Along with classical music? I'm strange. Anywho, I was thinking about how much I miss things, places, and people. I miss my old roommates. I miss my friend who is moving to Australia, my friend who is getting married, my friend who I used to jump on daily, my friend who was brave enough to take econ and poli sci 200, my friend who is also related to me and is fortunately out and about like the popular girl she has always been... I also miss my friends in Egypt. I miss the boys who teasingly called me Maksufi, the girls who always wanted to hold my hand because that's how you know you're truly friends, I miss the kids on the program who called me Sufi, chatting with my good friend about the differences between Jordan and Egypt. I miss staring wonder struck at the enormous ancient temples. I miss wandering through museums in Paris for hours at a time. I miss reading books, curled up in my warm bed because I have the time to read for leisure rather than because I have to write a paper on it. I miss listening to Nanci Griffith with my mom in Connecticut and singing to R.E.M. with my dad in our Volkswagen Vanagon. I miss tap dancing with Maude.

Sometimes I wish I could blame my absence from life on being engaged. I suppose that's partly why I have disappeared. But that's not really how it works for me. My absence is entirely based on my strange obsession with doing well in school and the academic world. I feel like I would seem more human if I was absent because I'm hopelessly attached to my fiance. I'm not that human though. I'm so intent on doing well in school that I often forget to surface in reality.

So hopefully I can remember to talk to people about how they're doing. Inshallah, I can inquire about my loved ones' health, daily life, school, work, and forget that I have papers to write or reading to catch up on. And honestly, I am hopeful for all of this. How can I not be when it's such beautiful fall weather outside?

Sometimes saying goodbye for goodnight is hard...

2010-11-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

...because neither of us really want to say goodbye. But we say goodbye every night diligently so that we can get to the point where we don't have to anymore. That point is in six weeks. Okay, so it's in six weeks and three days.

Guess what is in six weeks as well? THE END OF THE SEMESTER!

Four weeks will be Thanksgiving. Yum... my tummy is grumbling.
It also means Mom's birthday!

Three weeks I'll be giving a five minute presentation on my ORCA research.

Two weeks it will be Lulu! And Paige's birthday! I have lots that weekend. It will be lovely.

Nothing in one week. I think I can make it a week though. Inshallah... I'll use this week as recovery and prep for the coming few weeks. And maybe for addressing invitations? That's a beast of a job...

The good news for the day: I finished the on which I'm presenting in class today. Good Muslim Bad Muslim. I recommend it.

The bad news: I didn't do my Aramaic. I was supposed to translate some drills from lesson 16, translate 2 chapters from the Bible (Ezra, most likely), and a few lines from the Elephantine Papyrus. Friends, do you remember when I swam in the Nile? Do some of you remember being with me? It is the same place the Elephantine Papyrus is from! My teacher laughed when I told him I went swimming there. In retrospect, the water was pretty dirty. I still don't regret that decision though!

Happy November!!!

The Weepies

2010-10-20T08:02:00.000-07:00

I found this lovely song yesterday. It's called Somebody Loved.

Rain turns the sand into mud
Wind turns the trees into bone
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

Nights when the heat had gone out
We danced together alone
Cold turned our breath into clouds
We never said what we were dreaming of
But you turned me into somebody loved

Someday when we're old and worn
Like two softened shoes
I will wonder on how I was born
The night I first ran away from you

Now my feet turn the corner back home
Sun turns the evening to rose
Stars turning high up above
You turn me into somebody loved

Yoga

2010-10-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

Today my mom told me it was okay for me to take a mental health day. So here I am. Taking a day for my mental health. I am about to start into some homework, but I feel much more calm. I feel ready to start my day now. Why? Well there are always the best answers that come with religion and faith. Those are check marked on my list of how to calm down. And the next step of talking to my mom was also check marked. But then came the question of working out. I'm not a huge fan of running and when I thought about getting ready to run all of my stress came back. And then I thought about what my best friend Lulu does to calm down. Duh. I should have thought of it earlier. I mentioned yoga to my mom. She said I should seriously consider it.

I haven't done yoga very much in my life. I honestly feel bad for not doing it more often considering one my closest friends ever is a yoga instructor. I'm lame, I know. Every time I did yoga I enjoyed it. But I never really tried doing it to clear my mind. I have a better appreciation for why Lulu loves it now. I'm sorry we never did it together, my dear. I downloaded a yoga podcast this morning. I'm not very good, but I do my best. Now I'm much calmer. And I owe my sanity, yet again, to you.

I have realized even more so this semester than past semesters that life is about balance. It is about keeping all things in a correct amount of faith, focus, worry, relaxation, sleep. If you don't keep them in balance, you wear out. And if anyone had been watching my yoga session this morning they would know I don't have a great deal of balance. So here's to trying to find balance. In all things.

Determination

2010-10-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

Why am I so determined to prove everyone wrong when they say "Oh... you're going to have a horrible GPA by the end of this semester. It happens to everyone when they're engaged. But at least once you're married your GPA always goes back up!"

Honestly, I am tired of trying so hard. But I am going to keep trying because I don't know how to not try. Let's hope I manage to at least pass my midterms. But I am starting to believe that my GPA may not be the best it has been so far... And that's okay.

Last night's late post...

2010-10-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

...was not about anything in specific really. It was mostly about the general need for people to love, for people worldwide to learn how to love. It might sound ridiculous, but I realize that it will only sound ridiculous to the people who are too proud, or rather they love themselves more than others, and refuse to fix themselves to love others more than themselves.

I'm still learning to love, but I am much more aware of what my goal is. This summer taught me not simply about loving Arabs and Jews. I learned about loving the people I relate to as well as the people I will never understand. I need to at least try to understand them as human beings, as my brother and sister. And I can't say that I truly love until I love even all the people from my own country who frustrate me as much as some of the ignorant Arabs I met this summer. If I can learn to let go and love people here and there, in the past, present, or future, I think my life will be much happier.

I have learned how to love both friends who have been so good to me, and friends who have not been so good to me. Members of my country who have been unkind as well as members of another who have shown everything in grace and love.

I am learning how to love a single person on a completely new level. It isn't easy to take the step towards marriage. I am learning how to love him as well as his family. And he is doing the same for me.

I'm still learning how to be loving with my siblings. Patience comes from being loving - I definitely need to work on that.

I am learning how much my heart aches when a loved one is in pain. How can I learn to love so that whenever anyone hurts, I ache with them because they are each a loved one?

Fear is the opposite of love - not hate. Hate comes from misunderstandings and a terrible fear of those differences.

So let's not be afraid of differences. Let's love, shall we? I know I'm not perfect, so I might as well try, regardless of others wanting to or not.